He's Still Working on Me!

God is at work on my heart. He is trying to change me and I want Him to. He is using different people and different situations to prune me and to help me see where I err on the side of human and where I need to err on the side of my Savior instead. I get rushed easily. I don't like it. I don't like how it makes me feel. What I dislike the most is the way I sometimes react and how my actions make my family feel. I don't like how my actions sometimes make them feel less than the amazing blessings they are to me. I never want to make them feel that way.

Today I accompanied our Kindergarten class on a field trip. We went about 2 hrs away to see Disney On Ice. It was a great show but I was sad to be with all those kids and not my own. Shortly after it started, we found out that one of our city councilmen had collapsed at the morning's city council meeting. The news was not good. I really did not have any details but I was devastated for his family. I don't know them well, not well at all. But I thought of his wife...and I thought of their morning this morning. It made me wonder...what were their last words to each other this morning. Did they have a nice, relaxed morning together and send each other off into the day with kind words of love followed with hugs and kisses. Did they rush this morning and barely say goodbye. What was the last thing she said to him this morning, having no idea that he would not be home tonight for dinner... I wonder. This morning as I'm leaving (in a rush b/c we had an early bus to catch) I noticed the unmade beds and the piles of laundry and I wished that I had time to run and make the beds and get those clothes into the laundry room. I wished for a minute to tidy up the den and have it all looking just so. Not that I did any of that, there was no time. But does it matter? Who cares if the bed is unmade...was her bed unmade? I am certain that if it was, it probably still is, and as she begs God to spare her husband's life, I am certain she does not care about that unmade bed. Now I wish I had gone back and given Chad a kiss, wet or not, rather than just saying goodbye through a shower curtain. I wish I had given Cooper one more kiss. I'm thankful that we will all be home tonight for dinner. I'm thankful that my family will be together. I'm burdened for this lady and her grown children. I hurt for them. I hope that God will help me to learn a lesson through this to take one more minute to say the goodbyes that matter in the morning. Life is uncertain and our lives are only God knows when our last day will be. I hope I will do better with living each one He gives me.