Obedience

God is constantly working on me, pruning me, changing me, wanting me to be more like Him and less like Lyn...and I'm glad. I'm glad my Savior loves me enough to die for me and give me eternal life and I'm glad that he loves me through my mistakes and forgives me when I seek forgiveness and I'm glad that he does not give up on me even when I'm stubborn and don't listen and especially when I am disobedient right to His face with Him clearly telling me what to do. (I know that is a major fragment but my thoughts went that way and this is not English class!) What an example of an amazing parent He is! How many times have my children been disobedient and I failed to respond with love and grace...I'm ashamed to count how many but again, God is working on me and He is really working on me in that area...and I'm glad.

Here is a shameful confession. Recently, God told me something to do and I did not do it. Yep, just like my little ones who will look at me, hear me, and do exactly the opposite of what I just said, that is what I did to the King of my heart and the One who died for me! Yet I am surprised when my precious small children do the same thing...no wonder God is working on me in that area! Anyway, to get on with my confession, here goes... I am a follower of several blogs. The very first blog I ever read is one I have read almost daily since the first time I read it. She is a mother and she and I share some common interests. I'm intrigued by her I guess is the best way to put it. I learned through a vague mention of a certain religion, that we are obviously of different beliefs. That is fine, I told myself, but went on to find myself some wonderful blogs written by women who share the same belief system that I do and who boldy proclaim their salvation through Jesus and give honor and glory to Him through their blog on a regular basis. I love their blogs too. I get a lot of inspiration from them and I have a "restful soul" when I visit those. Recently, I was very alarmed by a statement on the above mentioned blog. Normally I am not alarmed and have not felt like their was a problem with me reading this blog. Before this, I would not have hesitated to share this blog with anyone. But then I was so alarmed that I went back and read and reread it to be sure I was reading it correctly. God said "Don't go there anymore, this is not for you." I did not listen. I have read it for a few more days until today. This morning God put His "foot" down with me and He got my attention. He spoke to me like this...

• My daily readings show support for this blog. This blog does not support my Lord & Savior. This is a problem. There should be nothing in my life that is contrary to the word of God.
• It does not matter if I am the only person I know who reads it, my soul knows and my God knows and He is not pleased. What we do in private is a true reflection of our heart and the condition of our heart is a reflection of our relationship with God.
• Guilt & shame have filled my heart because now, because of this statement made by the author, I would be ashamed for anyone to know that I was a reader of this seemingly innocent blog.
• Satan comes in a sheep's clothing only to devour me like a lion!
• His word is supposed to be my daily reading, when I have time to get to nothing else, there should always be time for His word...I can't say that is always the case in my life.

So what to do now...delete delete delete. I have deleted it from my favorite's list. I have gone to my email inbox and marked its daily notices as SPAM. I will not read it again. There may never ever be another controversial topic that I feel is disrespectful to the word of God but there has been that one, and I will not support it any longer.

What else to do...pray, repent, ask for forgiveness, and learn from my disobedience. Remember the next time that my children fall short of my expectations that God shows me grace and He would be pleased if I would show my children that same grace. Remember that it will give Him glory if I parent according to His example.

True repentance means making a U turn away from the behavior/activity that the Holy Spirit has convicted me of and never looking back. I have not always understood that last part in my life but because of God's pruning and love, I now understand and want so badly to please Him with my behaviors and actions. I'm so thankful that God has removed this stumbling block from my path and I regret not listening to Him the first time. I want to be a better example of obedience for my children to follow. I want to be more like Christ and less like me.